hollyb: November 2015

Saturday, November 28, 2015

stuffing is my favorite thankful food
pants are uncomfortable and I wore them on purpose so as not to overeat
the cardigan I was wearing was itchy
too many grandkids ;)
black friday effing sucks
kohls checkout line took two hours
I almost fell over from exhaustion
the end

(see how negative I am these days? I need an attitude adjustment for real.)
((It really was a nice Thanksgiving though. I love my large family.))

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

self proclaimed narcissist (I won't deny that I was warned!!)

The narcissist attracts devastation, pain and unhappiness into their own lives. They never get to create durable love, happiness, peace and joy.

They are plagued by a large inner hole, an intense pain and anxiety within themselves, resulting in self-loathing, extreme anger and sometimes shame - they battle with their own shortcomings.

Like a junkie, they need someone or something to "take the edge off" - to give them temporary relief from the pain and intense inner torment that they continuously feel.

Usually they target people to extract 'narcissistic supply' from in order to function and make them feel better about themselves.

They are professional manipulators and design their game plan to get their "junkie needs" met at any cost.

"Narcissistic supply" is their drug and they don't care who is pushing it, as long as it makes them feel good about themselves.

Their ideal victims, (or hosts), are people who are emotionally generous and who allow their boundaries to be bent.
The Narc will take advantage of your goodness and will abuse it.

Characteristics of a Narc:

They lie
They look down on others
They refuse to take responsibility
They are two-faced
They have persistent fantasies about attaining success, power and wealth - they are obsessed with it.
They are incapable of compromise and need to win
They cheat on their partners
They are NOT capable of real love as normal people know it. They are more interested in being in control and feeling important than special than ever being loved by someone
They manipulate people to go against their own values willingly
They use people as puppets, pawns and commodities, burning them out and then moving them on to their next victim.

IF and WHEN he ever comes back, or makes contact out of the blue, it's only because his new supply has also caught onto his game, or she is not as good of a supply as I was.

Maybe he was bored with her, like he was with me, and just wants to test the waters to see if he still has control over me.

"He values the attention of total strangers more than the attention you gave him."

One thing you can be 100% certain of - he is UNABLE to to truly give you what you want or deserve - a whole, healthy, secure, loving and transparent relationship.

To be miserable, abused and discarded at whim? Or to be happy and content, in a secure and loving relationship with someone who adores and cares about you?

All that he really offered you was insecurity, paranoia, anxiety, depression, and deception - and made you feel awful about yourself.